¿Como esta, chica?

Yeehee, don't tell anyone but I've escaped from the rat race for a couple of weeks for un poco viaje a centrale america... First stop on the journey a night in Miami, coinciding with the Superbowl, if only I cared. Anyways, after the slowest most third world bus trip in the world (yes (we can) in the US of A) hopped onto the plane to the palacial surrounds of San Pedro Sula, Honduras.

Knowing what little I know about solo girls and fast latin american cities, I decided that this wasn't the place to spend much time so I hot footed it to the rainforests of La Ceiba where I secluded myself in a jungle camp under the cover of darkness. Daylight broke to reveal a raging river below, which could only mean one thing, white water rafting! Naturally I got soaking wet, and this was before we were even in the damn raft, me and my malco- feet!

A few garifuna-cohol shots later and I was a full jungle being, well I had no choice because luck would have it, the rainy season continues and no boats running to the islands for another day. A couple of jungle hikes later (I did not fall on my muddy ass, much) and the boat was on - TO THE ISLAND! Cheez, that boat was a bumpy ride... Sadly the caribbean sea never quite lived up to the ideal of blue skies and flat water, but who cares about rain when you're underwater - there it's all wet. The diving was absolutely AMAZING, the best coral I've ever seen and some pretty cool creatures (giant crabs, turtles, cute fishies, a whale in a wet suit - too big and ugly for a shark to eat apparently, thanks).

So apres dive it was flor de caña o'clock - yummy, I will be trying to smuggle some of this home, time flies when you're having rum... a couple of random impromtu trips to various places followed, a local kareoke bar where I was so graciously serenaded, Pedro's birthday party (I don't think anyone actually knew who Pedro was...), the sea, the hammocks. Alas, one cannot have rumfun forever and it was time to leave the island behind and see some sights.

First on the agenda, Copan Ruinas, an ancient city which was the capital of the Mayan empire at some time or another until they got too big for their boots and ate all the food there was, used all the resources there were and ran out of people to kill (¿lesson for the future perhaps?). Took a morning wandering around the ruins sneaking in on other peoples tour guides to cadge some waffle information. Being only so much 'this is what used to be here' one can take in a day I took a chicken bus (so called because locals will take anything on with them) through the gorgeous highlands (with some less than gorgeous latin music soundtrack as accompaniment) to a town called Gracias a Dios (Thanks to God).

A nice chilled out day or so there wondering around the pretty typical town and wondering whether the locals would feel affronted if I, a colonial descendant, were to purchase the fort on the top of the hill (as it had amazing views) built by the conquistadors (I just love that word, hides all manner of spanish sins). Popped into some hot springs to relax after the hectic hike there (ok, so we inadvertantly hitched a ride, but we did intend to walk).

This is all from Honduras, other than a leeeeeegnthy bus journey down to Nicaraguaaaaa. More on that later...

P.S. although some pretty bad news. It turns out I was sooo prepared I remembered everything, except my most useful companion, my frisbee :-(

Jelarkodiles!!!

YAY!!! I'm not in Katherine any more! That's the good news. Bad news, Arnie still is and I have to GO BACK THERE to get him. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.


We had to give in to evil Steve and get the Greyhound up to Darwin, arrived around 11pm, having our priorities well and truly in place we went for a 'quick' cold beer (this is becoming something of a common theme... hello Australia) to celebrate, possibly returning in the early hours of the morning after some crazy dancing (zero gravity kangeroo jumps) and cocktails to celebrate the brilliance of not being in Katherine (maybe it isn't that bad I don't know, but there's something about that place that seems to bring people to attach bits of aeroplane to their face, surely that's not good?). After a slightly late checkout (in no way beer related - and why does my neck hurt so much? ah yes, the dancing, whoops) we had to lick our sans-Arnie wounds and go about the treacherous business of hiring another car (sob sob) to get to Kakadu NP; managed to procure a beauty on the promise that we wouldn't go off road with it, 모 ㅗ드 (sorry, this keyboard keeps randomly popping into Korean for no apparent reason) - ah hem.


Well Kakadu was erm, ok? Not the same without Arnie, who given the expense of the repair job ($2000 and counting, nnnnaarrrrgggh - Perth I may be back a little sooner than anticipated) is not in such good favour anymore, especially as had to leave all our camping gear with him so slept under the stars - this time nowhere near as romantic as it sounds because it was wet, fly ridden and I was much nearer the source of snoring than usual in the tent, grrrrrr. Saw lots of birds in a muddy pond that is somehow both culturally and environmentally significant a la the beloved World Heritage list. Saw some kangeroos fighting which was cool. They fight like girls. Saw some crocodiles, they were big and scary and not to be trifled with. Plus bizarrely went snorkelling in a cloudy waterfall also apparently with crocodiles, thank someone important that I didn't see one because otherwise the water would have turned purple! Listened to Mika a lot on this trip. A LOT: "this is the way you left me, I'm not pretending, no hope no love no glory, no happy ending, this is the way we love, like it's forever, spend the rest of our lives but not together (insert Mike like squeal here *aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh*)" - will these words ever exit my head???


Back to Darwin for the soul destroying and devastating task of saying goodbye to Luka and Benno by sharing a beer at sunset on the beach accompanied by sand wrestling, full volume Mika (again), belly rubbing, bad video diaries and more manic dancing (rock on Darwin).


Have now made the bizarre decision given my current bank balance ($600, could be interesting... tch, who needs food anyway, and milkshake, and accomodation? Baby Kate perhaps?) to head over East to Queensland and am currently in Cairns and just done a 3-day liveaboard dive of the Great Barrier Reef... It was super-duper wonderful, saw lots of fish and reef and sharks (night dive bizarrely between dinner courses) and glug glug glug. T'was awesome my friend. I'm now back landside trying to figure out how to travel several many km's with no money, any ideas???


nB. a jelarkodile is a vicious combination of a jellyfish (prevent swimming in Darwin), a shark (swam with in Cairns) and a crocodile (definitely no swimming in Kakadu). More pictures when Benno gets over his jetlag and properly copies them to a CD, nnaarrrrggh.

Kuala Kuala but no Bear

So, outta Thailand to Malaysia: it's different. Firstly, there was the hugest police/army presence I have ever seen lining a single and otherwise uneventful road, either that or they were on a mass 'wee in the bushes' training manouvere (hard word to spell) or something. Anyways, moving on from that strange image if I may, spent a night in the lovely (hahahaha) town of Kota Bahru where restuarants have not very encouraging looking dead street cats lying outside. It seems that Malaysia is an odd mix of Indian (curry, lecherous men, more curry), Chinese (i.e. writing I can't even begin to understand) and Western (i.e. more KFC's per square mm than anywere else I've ever encountered - heaven to some) culture, only without the alcohol. Then spent a week or so on the Perhentian Islands (where you last saw me, or my feet anyway), which was marvellous, apart from having the darkest cavern of a beach shack - I never did find the bed (but hey it was the cheapest I could find). Though I did see a TURTLE when diving (he may not have been called Leonardo, mutant or ninja, but I swear he mouthed the immortal words 'cowabunga dude' to me), brilliant.

I eventually dragged my sorry bottom off the beach and hopped on a speedboat back to the mainland and the longest most overrated and boring train journey ever, the so called 'Jungle train' down to well, the middle bit of Malaysia. It lasted for 12 hours (12!!!!!) and the view consisted of lots of tree trunks. Wow. I also discovered the culinary delight of poisoned rice (this isn't the ad line the buffet cart went for, but I find it an appropriate description) and lukewarm coffee, brilliant. All this did make me appreciate all the hours of my life that I have spent not being on a train however, so every cloud and all that.

Fortunately there was a point to all this travelling as I got to the Taman Negara National Park. It has a lot of trees in it. Seeing as the rainy season is fast approaching and it is in fact a rainforest, I doubt you will be surprised to hear that it rained. Lots. Mainly as I was walking between sheltered areas. Hello mud. Hello slippery trail. I think we all know where this story is headed. Splat! Having cleaned myself up a little I made it to the Canopy Walkway, which was brilliant if you like walking on wibbly bridges suspended 45m in the air (which I did actually - despite a minor onset of vertigo, which is only common sense all things considered). The views were excellent progress, I was able to see tree trunks and tree leaves, and if I looked really hard I could also make out the ground far f a r below. On the way back I spotted some monkeys and got very excited when I heard a bush rustling only for a pig to pop out (boring, we have them at home). I arrived back alive only to have the tables turned on me after Cambodia and was absolutely feasted upon by a variety of insect species (30 bites and that's just my left hand). Brilliaaaaaaannt.

Leaving behind my tarzan/jane/monkey aspirations I'm in the big city of Kuala Lumpur now. Considering the first I had heard of it was when learning about photochemical smogs in geography classes at school, it's made a good impression on me. This clearly has nothing to do with the fact that when I don't know where I'm going and decide to follow my instinct (always a risky decision) I actually ENDED UP WHERE I INTENDED without having, quite literally, gone round the houses. Brilliant. I went up the much prided 4th highest tower in the world (have found out that the 9th highest tower is in Uzbekistan, you know me, I've cultivated an irrational desire to go there) where there was a pretty good (not too smoggy) view of the city. The excursion was much improved by the presence of a (free) audio and video (!) guide complete with a Malaysian/cockney fella informing me of a variety of pointless yet amusing facts about big buildings. Brilliant. By this time I was getting high off tall towers (get it) so off I went to another tall tower, the Petronas Towers, the 2nd tallest building ---> (it makes a big difference in tall thing classification apparently) in the world. It was, erm, tall. Then I went to a rather posh shopping centre (i.e. I am too poor to be even allowed in the shops) where I got a little confused between doors, mirrors and windows - they were all so clean! - much to the amusement of an entire eating establishment. Cue red face and hasty exit (the doors are the ones with exit signs incidently). Fed myself on a bit of sushi and plodded around a lovely little park wondering if I could really get away with playing in the huge kiddie play area, turns out all the other adults in there had a child with them as a cover story so sadly I didn't qualify and moved on to Chinatown where they have decided to celebrate the Year of the Dog with some quite atrocious lanterns adorned with pictures of pooches (<-----), brilliant, and a veeeeerry genuine market (check out these guys "we sell no fake rolex's" innocent as pie look as the police came round)! ------>

Oh and I quite like the word brilliant today... BRILLIAAAAAAANNT!

in an octopuses garden

I'm on beach! I'm in Thailand! The sun is shining! Woo wooo! After another stopover in Bangkok (I went to the Grand Palace, again, to fill in time, and certainly did no shopping...) I'm on the lovely island of Ko Tao. Have been here for don't quite know how many days and have been learning to scuba-doo (or self-contained underwater breathing apparatus dive as the tekkies have it) which is absolutely brilliant, love it! I have my Open Water cert, which involved watching lots of very dull videos on decompression whatnots and doing a few dives which were pretty good. Though yesterday things got even better when went down down down to 30m (sadly didn't get nitrogen narcosis) where I played with egg yolks (?) and saw lots of sharks (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggghh!!!!!), they were pretty friendly though and apparently well fed as my arms are still intact. Sadly diving has been put on hold for a few days as have delightful infection in my left ear so am just going to laze about on the beach for a while (yayayayayayay - beats sitting on the sofa watching Postman Pat - the video that always came out when I was ill as a child) while gunk pours out my ear and try to remove these slightly dodgy wetsuit tan lines that I have developed and then I'll get back to the important matter of finding wee Nemo, just keep swimming and swimmming...

If any of you are reading this in an office, look away about now:

mwah ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

And oh my word, let us take a moment to comprehend the sad news of legend Steve Irwin (not to be confused with Crocodile Dundee, whoops), it's the end of an era of "crikey!" and "streuth!" and his demise is like a sting in the heart to me... Oh and thanks to Mr 'it's a great city' Canberra (you know who you are!) for the on the pulse news bulletin.