Beach Life

'ello blogfans, belated Happy New Year to y'all,


You'll never EVER guess where I am now, Thailand, again. It's still pretty nice, if you like that kind of thing. Obviously lying on a beach all day isn't really my cup of tea but sometimes sacrifices have to be made in the name of travel. (fire poi man below, inexplicable candle-eater man not pictured)

I think I do have to take the opportunity to publically voice a note of thanks to my beyond brilliance family for having me home for a wonderful Christmas (and 3 month run up to said day), I thoroughly commend their airport taxi service, the room not too shabby (could do with being a bit tidier mind) and the food (puds in particular) second to none (except - in a hushed voice - perhaps the food here, GIANT prawns, yum yum). I had a super time and molefo recommend it to anyone.


Well quick update on what I've done since leaving the home of all wonder, hopped back onto plane to Singapore to watch Pirates of the Carribean (I didn't fully understand what was going on mind), multiple episodes of Kath & Kim (revising for my next port of arrival) and other such funk. Quick footed it up to Bangkok and then down to sea sea sea. First stop Ko Lanta which weren't too bad, though pales in comparison to Ko Phi Phi (current home), especially as have gone posh (oh the benefit of having a partner in crime to share costs with). Has been a wee bit cloudy mind, but obviously, being british and all, first day sun came out got sunburnt, duh. Went on pilgrimmage day trip to mini Ko Phi Phi which is where The Beach was filmed, very nice but a bit crowded - think it would be worth a swedish shark attack/episode of craziness/scary gun-toting drug farmers to protect said haven (read the book). Here is shot of me pretending to be Leo DiCap, think I carry it off rather well... Also got to go to another beach a.k.a. paradise but could only stay for an hour, despite pleading with the boat man (why couldn't it break down again there?!?).

Ach, must skiadaddle, big coconut pancake and fruit shake is beckoning me, but will leave you with this:


A priest, a rabbi and a monk walk into a bar, the barman says "is this some kind of joke?"

in an octopuses garden

I'm on beach! I'm in Thailand! The sun is shining! Woo wooo! After another stopover in Bangkok (I went to the Grand Palace, again, to fill in time, and certainly did no shopping...) I'm on the lovely island of Ko Tao. Have been here for don't quite know how many days and have been learning to scuba-doo (or self-contained underwater breathing apparatus dive as the tekkies have it) which is absolutely brilliant, love it! I have my Open Water cert, which involved watching lots of very dull videos on decompression whatnots and doing a few dives which were pretty good. Though yesterday things got even better when went down down down to 30m (sadly didn't get nitrogen narcosis) where I played with egg yolks (?) and saw lots of sharks (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggghh!!!!!), they were pretty friendly though and apparently well fed as my arms are still intact. Sadly diving has been put on hold for a few days as have delightful infection in my left ear so am just going to laze about on the beach for a while (yayayayayayay - beats sitting on the sofa watching Postman Pat - the video that always came out when I was ill as a child) while gunk pours out my ear and try to remove these slightly dodgy wetsuit tan lines that I have developed and then I'll get back to the important matter of finding wee Nemo, just keep swimming and swimmming...

If any of you are reading this in an office, look away about now:

mwah ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

And oh my word, let us take a moment to comprehend the sad news of legend Steve Irwin (not to be confused with Crocodile Dundee, whoops), it's the end of an era of "crikey!" and "streuth!" and his demise is like a sting in the heart to me... Oh and thanks to Mr 'it's a great city' Canberra (you know who you are!) for the on the pulse news bulletin.

wat's that?

Yes yes, I know 'what' isn't spelt like that, but 'Wat' is. Chiang Mai: here a Wat, there a Wat, everywhere a Wat Wat. Hired out a cycle yesterday and went wonder-about, there's a big temple on top of a hill where an elephant left it (apparently many many years ago an elephant was carrying whole temple on its back, decided to walk all way up hill only to die on spot leaving temple behind, as you do) that I thought would make a nice bike ride. Lasted for about 5 minutes (exaggeration) until realised getting a lift to the top with some dudes from New Yoirrrrrk with fun New Yoirrrk accents (don't know how to express them in writing) and just zippy zip zipping back down would be much more fun (it was). Got lost on way back to guesthouse, accidently stumbled upon some more Wats and monks being monkey-ish (is that what you call the work of a monk I don't know). Found another 12 million Wats. Cycled round and round and round (swear these streets keep on moving) and eventually made it back to my guesthouse only to be attacked by a giant butterfly (scary). Foolishly went out on bike again for dinner, got lost, again. Found another Wat, or 5. Seems not a lot else to do in Chiang Mai other than getting lost and finding Wats. What's a Wat I hear you ask, erm, temple type thing where the more gold the better I think (see picture above).

Actually that was a big lie, there is something else to do in Chiang Mai as did a Thai cookery course today which was quite fun, am well and truly stuffed with food. Bought all the ingredients from market (see piccie: oi piggy - you lookin' at me?!) in the morning and spent afternoon pounding and chopping and pounding some more; apparently with a little more work I will make 'good Thai wife' (not sure I actually want to be good Thai wife, but that's by-the-by). Thinking of learning how to be a mahout (elephant trainer) tomorrow because I know that's the kind of skill employers are looking for on a CV, hope I don't get trampled on.

Oh, and the geographically challenged amongst you may find help in knowing where I am by looking right (or is it left, erm) and following the link "is Baghdad near Iraq" (ex-Talybronx residents of M8 will know where that came from) and you will find yourself looking at a map of my rough location about this world.

Alas, must toddle off now, apparently there are some Wats around here that I "really must" see...

P.S. oh and at the request of some of the more aged readers out there (Johnny) you will be happy to discover that a mojito is in fact a delicious beverage containing rum, soda, mint and lemon - it remained elusive but managed to find a substitute (in the many roguely titled cocktails such as Foo Girl and Blue Hawath - still have no idea what they were, but they came in pretty colours).

whistle that tune...

Currently in town called Kanchanaburi on the river Kwai and I'm revelling in my new digital camera at the moment, everything and anything is being photographed - hopefully some of the more boring shots (brick wall, etc) will be shortly deleted (once I've found out how to, instruction manual largely in Japanese, eek) but here are some highlights for your viewing pleasure:

(1) "death railway" bridge over the river Kwai - lots of fun WWII relics and stuff, plus bizarre museum that on one floor had remains of loadsa soldiers and other such delightful exhibits, then on next a 'directory of Miss Thailand' and a 'spot the elephant game' (still one elephant elludes me after 30 mins of searching)

(2) thought I'd include this one of me for anyone who's forgotten how fantabulous I look (gotta say that in absence of mirror in room the digi camera is working well so I can check appearance, etc - me? vain? never) .

The more astute amongst you may notice that today is a very v.e.r.y. important day in the history of mankind, or indeed Jo-kind so am treating myself. Just had a Thai massage, which considering the stories of pain and cripplement that I've heard was actually pretty nice (will just re-attach my arm now). Going out to (hopefully) nice dinner tonight (maybe even ice cream and strawberries if lucky) with a bunch of people on the search of an elusive mojito (can't have beer and footie every night - on that subject I'd like to have an 'I told you so moment' in that I kept the faith and knew ole Davey B would come of use eventually) which should be good.

And finally, (3) general shot of lovely Thailand, all green and exotic and nice, though admittedly a wee bit cloudy - wouldn't believe the thunderstorm the other night, was a little bit scary and got very wet (must buy umbrella). Ah well, must skiddoo, have an unhealthy addiction to Tiger Balm (that incidently, does not contain any actual tiger derivative) which is demanding I smear it all over my mozzy bites immediately. Ciao mes amigos.

Yipppeeeeeeeeee!!!

I'm in THAILAND BABY!!!!!! I made it at loooonng long last!

Ended up spending the remainder of my time in Delhi doing nothing of touristic value, I rode the subway though - it was surprisingly nice; no spit or wee or rubbish (or any other traditional trace of India) to be seen anywhere! Randomly met one of the girls who was also volunteering in Sri Lanka on last night, which was a happy coincidence (of all the people and all of the places in India, small small world).

Somehow managed to take 3 days to get from Delhi to Bangkok, despite total flying time of only 4 hours... Turns out I had a stopover in Bangladesh where everything was as close to being water as possible without actually being water and lots of cockroaches scurrying about. I'd like to thank the hoteliers for waking me at 5am to inform me that breakfast (dry bread and water - well worth getting up for I'm sure) would be ready an hour later, only to not leave for the airport for a further 3 hours. But all made up for by fact that was flying business class (posh-o) so got to use the 'executive lounges' and generally lower the polite businessman-type-newspaper-reading-vibe by stuffing my face with all the free foody nibbles available. Such joy.

Topical comment of moment: has anyone else noticed that Sven Gargle-Eriksson looks astonishingly like Mr Burns from the Simpsons? Especially with Steve "Smithers" McClaren in tow everywhere he goes. Obviously my mind isn't wandering at all when I'm watching the footie in the early hours.

Oh and Khao San Rd (see piccie) veterans will be happy to know that the kid who challenges people to thumb wars is still doing a good trade - although he's more of dude too old to get away with playing thumb war than the child he once was. Happy days. Bring on the Beer Chang!

P.S. 5 days to go...