running to stand still

G'day folks, how's it going? Time for a wee update on what's been going on somewhere on the other side of the world (depending on where you are when you read this that is). This wee little backwater town they call Perth seems to have somehow inadvertantly become the place I've stayed for the longest time a) in about 2 years which is scary and b) without making one of those amazing chocolate puds - dad can I get the recipe??? - which is even scarier! (not that I'm always thinking of my belly) and c) means I've been able to slack off this blogging malarky.

Current activities have recently surrounded Perth's City to Surf run that's happening at the end of August, I'm fine with the 'city' element and happy with 'surf' - it's just the 'to' that's been bothering me of late... Believe it or not I've been running all over the place in the name of training (don't laugh) and you'll be happy to know that thus far I haven't been attacked by a pelican (few close calls mind), have been complimented on my socks (left green, right 'gold') and haven't seen sense yet. There are two races I could do, one's 12km the other 21km - I need your vote on which I do, pain or lots of pain? challenge or challenge to survive? Let me know here...

Had a mini road trip at the weekend down to Margaret River which is a major wine making region about 200km south of Perth. Went down with Ali (my scottish housemate - who is scandalously labouring under the impression that he's leaving next week) and Mickael "i complain" Frenchy. Was awesome to get out the city and have a nice break (we were either driving for longer than I thought or it looked exactly like England, green fields and cows galore) and needless to say 'sample' lots of wine and even blend our own <*jo remembers why she failed chemistry as she accidently pours 50 not 5ml in the measuring tube, 'hic'*>, though we're not to talk about the chocolate factory (hrumph). It's a big surf destination down there and seeing as one of the reason I came to Oz was to get in some surfing, you'll be deeply impressed that I continued my good work and didn't touch a board (this is getting silly now - picture above). Frisbee made it out too, only to be immediately launched into the sea (tch), so was replaced with AFL ball (I'm soooo much better than those guys already, Ben Cousins eat your party heart out).

And in other news caught my first glimpse of dophlins in the Swan river whilst walking along in South Perth which was pretty exciting (I felt much empathy for the little kid who screamed whenever mummy and daddy suggested that it was time they went home instead of watching them) - if you get your magnifying glass out you might see a fin in this picture, as was the ride on the boat across the river that I didn't even realise existed (the boat, not the river) - would have saved me a lot of effort running if I'd known about it!

Harry Potter minus 2 days!!!! So EXCITED!!!

That's pretty much all I have to say right now - don't forget the decision lies in your hands: 12 or 21km - it's in the hands of democracy now...

Bonne Anniversaire!

Time for another window into my world - this time we head birthday-side. Yes boys and girls, if I didn't make a big enough deal out of it already then I'll try again here... Another birthday, another country to enjoy it in, this apparently is how they do it Oz-side.












As you can see I had everything I could ever need, scrumptious cakes (a slight improvement on the luminous yellow and purple caterpillar monstrosity I made for the guys at work), wine (so who's idea was work in the morning huh?), a giant lollypop and gorgeous people to share it with, l-r: Sara (an Ozzie!!!), Birthday Girl, Philippe, Ally, Bethan (my new housemate), Rachel (another Ozzie, who'da thought it?), Mickael, Alan and Ali, not pictured Jessel and Roadkill (my hedgehog chocolate cakes) and my chickens.

more photo's at: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=4859&l=9bdf6&id=517130959


I had an awesome day (all 24 hours of it, barely a winkle of sleep!) and proffer giganormous thanks for all the wonderful messages and presents, some of which will no doubt prove life changing (Alan!) - I couldn't appreciate it more (unless you have a time machine that a) makes my birthday last forever and b) means I'm not 23...). Lots of lovely big hugs and kisses to y'all!


Back in the real world... not much new happening. Won the princely sum of $2.50 at the dogtrack the other week. Am running running running all over the place (more on that later, watch this space). Indigenous Cultural Awareness training and inspecting big digger trucks for work - don't ask. All is good, life is grand.

I'm becoming a normal person. Help me please.

Well my dears it's all change here on Waltons mountain and I feel (have been told by my dad) that I have neglected my blogging duties therefore here I am, blog blog blog, let me give it to you in bullet points:

• I have a house!!! I am no longer a living a fugitive like life in the hostel, bless it. Chess no more (there wasn't a TV). One fridge for 30 people no more. Sharing a room with 5 other people no more. Ahhhhh, luxury. I have everything I could possibly ever want, a big bed all to my lovely self, two fridges for the 4 of us and some friends with a PlayStation (not that I'm any good at playing any of the games on them, I miss the Amiga 600!).

• I have a job!!! I am no longer the pawn of evil masters who make me do zzzzzz work for pittance. I've gone up in the world and am now an 'Executive Officer' in the Aboriginal Economic Development division of the WA Department of Industry and Resources. I go to meetings that have a range of biscuits and cakes for the eating. Yippee.

• Monday night dinner time (something of a ritual for the last day of the weekend, yes it was a lovely l o n g weekend, I lazed in a hammock and went on a bike ride, the sun shone, life is good) - after 3 hours slaving over a lasagne it was the tub of ice cream that received the biggest thumbs up from these clowns, grrrr! L-r: token Ozzie chick Rachel, Philippe the lazy frenchman, Alan "glowsticks", Mickael frogman, Jan the fat german, one VERY hot English girl and Ali/William Wallace (it's a scottish thing, word has it not so keen on the mothercountry) - my 'lovely' friends...
  

Could I be more normal? Job, house, bus pass, baking, AAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!! I'm growing up, please stop this process before it gets too late...

Plus more photo's of my travels available here (or follow link on right cleverly titled, favourite travel shots)

*ouch*

says my bank account.

Have seen a local medicine man/pelican about the situation (-->)

He says it's a condition called 'evil-taxman-itis', also known as 'i want to spend all day at the beach' and 'the best things in life don't always come for free'.

By way of remedy he recommended a medicinal direct debit from your account to mine, though also mentioned that a cash deposit would do the trick equally well...

...ok so you don't pity me (is that because in Australia's equivalent to November and it's still 28oC, mwahahaha!) - so use your charitable reserves for people who may actually deserve it and sponsor my bigger (but in no way better) bro at: walking up a big hill to raise money for WaterAid, it's a great cause and if you give him enough money he might even stay up there (more than worth whatever you can give).

I thought it was about time you saw what Perth looks like, this is the view from King's Park (with some weirdo pointing you in the right direction should you get confused - oh and it's an evil act of deception on the part of a tree trunk that is making me look fat and NOT bum-brazil-itis).

Ozzie Rules A-OK

Oz Stereotype #26 - Australian Rules Football is a game that largely has no actual rules (see here for the official party line on the matter). From my in depth research and analysis: Affirmative. At least no rules that anyone appeared to follow... And yes, they really do wear criminally short shorts -----> Marvellous!

As part of my ongoing and entirely selfless campaign to promote generosity and niceness in general across the world I volunteered to collect money for charity (I'm doing it for the kids) for a couple of hours before and after the AFL match between the West Coast Eagles (my team of choice, partly because they're local, largely because they are currently embroiled in some fantastic stories of drugs and scandal in the papers, and partly because I like their team colours: blue and 'gold' - don't know what it is in Australia but nothing is ever yellow, always gold - some kind of complex left over from the days of prospecting I suspect) and Carlton Blues on Sunday. The offer of free tickets and free lunch was in no way the reason why I chose Sunday to be the day I honoured my generosity and niceness campaign. After having gorged on sandwiches in the MegaZone at the kids hospital (and let me tell you, mega goes no way to describe how awesome their play/chill out area was) and armed with a backpack stuffed with plastic handclappers (the <---- headache-maker as I called them), a money tin and a snazzy T-shirt, we headed to the Subiaco Oval to shout and bully and cajole people into giving us money - now this was something I could do and do I did, although many people would only give me money in exchange for a promise that I would SHUT UP! (ah money's money when it comes to charity, though I'm sure none of you could imagine me making lots of noise with my voice, ah-hem hmm hurrr.) 1 minute into the game it absolutely wee'd it down (in Australia?!? this isn't what I signed up for), and I mean wee like the sky had been hopping about on one leg for months before finally letting it go (which it probably had been in all honesty - *drought*). I was SOAKED to my soggy little pants. Boo hoo hoo.

Anyway and so to concentrate on important matters at hand. The 40 chaps running around the field after a ball. Yes 40!!! 18-a-side plus all these 'runner' dudes who just run about randomly during play to relay messages from the coach/local cocaine dealer. Loads of them. And in true schoolboy style they all huddled around the ball wherever it went. Throw the ball, kick the ball, wallop the other player, pass the ball, fight for a while, catch the ball, kick the ball in the goal, score! In this game you got points even if you missed the actual goal but got it through the posts in the mere vicinity of the goal. And from what I could see they weren't much good at catching the ball either, fumbling the ball they were great at, though when I voiced my comments that they might all be a bit on the useless side it didn't go down so well with the nearby Australians (I daresay the immortal phrase 'bloody pommies' was bandied about a fair bit). My favourite bit was the throw-in which is done by the referee in a manner that can only be described in terms of a giraffes mating ritual, biz-arre. Even though I had little to no idea what was going on most the time I had a great time (authentic Australian sporting experience, tick!) and the good old Eagles pulled through to win by 100-39. Whoop whoop woo, GO EAGLES!

Chocolate, bad karaoke, wine, fire unicycle, John Howards thieving little hands, frisbee, out

The title is a pretty good summary of this post, but I'm bored at work (opened 4 envelopes ALL DAY on Wednesday, clearly my contributions are on course to change the world any day now) so have written a suitably waffly bit of waffle for the pleasure of those of you out there as busy as I am.

So a Happy Easter to everyone. <------This is what I really really dreamed of arriving on Sunday but apparently the Easter Bunny doesn't do long distance deliveries - it would probably get stuck in quarantine anyway - so if you look carefully you will see in the reflection of the glass a little drool oozing down my face (pleasant image indeed). In fairness I did get to nab some free Hot Cross Buns from work - I was just sitting minding my own business (obviously not doing any actual work, why would I?) when this enormous tray stacked full of delightful little buns came round and invited me to take as many as I wanted. Being the generous soul I am I took about 70 (winter hibernation blubber building) and shared 1 with the others back at the hostel, ah the spirit of Easter. Speaking of the 'spirit' of Easter, can I just pass something on to shatter Oz stereotype #4: that Australians really really like their drink. With a lovely 4 day weekend ahead I got all excited about the prospects for entertainment and what do I find come Good Friday... all the pubs were SHUT!!!! Not one serving even a smidgen of a drop to thirsty folk. Huh? Well that's a teeny tiny lie. After much investigation it appeared that there was one place open for the night. A Korean karaoke bar, BRILLIANT!!!! Sadly none of my musical numbers were available so I took a purely spectatorial role in proceedings; never will 'Forever Young' sound the same to me after it's mauling at the hands of two overly enthusiastic (given their lack in tunefulness or indeed knowledge of the actual words) Korean fellows.

Languishing in the aftermath of un pue pompette-edness and having finished my book (Down Under by Bill Bryson, very topical) I got off mon derriere (and Swissland: please at least try to hold in your amusement at my French, boudine ronchon bete ogre citrouille visage) and did my one touristy thing for the week by catching the train down to Freemantle (a town/suburb about 20mins south of Perth centre where there are some actual 'old' buildings, and more importantly lots of nice cafes) armed with a camera with no batteries (when will I learn). There was a street performance festival of some kind going on, as far as I could tell this largely involved hefty applauding of very cute little kids blowing bubbles and clownish men jiggling about on oversize unicycles - what's life for if you don't throw fire sticks around whilst precariously balanced 10ft in the air? Took a quick detour to the beach en route home to relax, ah so nice to be able to just pop to the beach like that - jealousy jealousy jealousy ha ha me winner.

Anyone fancy laughing at Jo (who wouldn't)? Got my paycheck for all my hard work. Mmmmm $720. That'll go nicely in the bank. Hold on a minute, there seems to be some more numbers here... What's that minus sign doing near those numbers? $350 TAX!!!!!! 45%??? OUTRAGEOUS! It would appear that I am destined to single-handedly fund the upkeep of Australia during my stay. Or at least pay for John Howards retirement (and yours too probably Andrew so some sunglasses in exchange wouldn't go amiss!). I herein vow to take FULL advantage of everything they provide for 'free' from now on, even if it means spending all my days riding the bus round and round town.

<------Friendly spider, look at the size of it's legs!!! Run. Fast!!!

And finally those of you who are bigger fans of my Frisbee than me (and lets face it, who isn't?) will be distraught to know that it was judged to be too windy for Frisbee on the beach last week so it has spent most of it's time sulking under my bed, however panic ye not as I am scheduled to spend some quality time with it in the park soon.

Omblebumphf = viel Spass Comprendé? D’accord

I’m still in Perth baby, and can I let you in on a tiny weeny widdly little secret? It’s actually getting a little bit chilly around the edges here (chilly is of course being applied relatively), I had to sleep with the sheets all the way up for the first time in AGES the other night. Things aren’t helped by the fact that I am sitting under what appears to be a direct wind tunnel from the Antarctic (super powered air-con), I’m expecting Pingu to come flying through any moment now. Yes, I’m still working, though not at the ALS, that was so last week daaarling, I’ve crossed over to the dark side (i.e. something of a profit making organisation – how can I tell this? By the extremely well stocked stationery/ary cupboard, I’ve died and gone to sticky label/biro heaven) and am at Western Power this week doing stuff that I have absolutely no idea how to do nor does anyone else to show me, so as you can imagine my days are a little short of being unproductive. Am still living at la casa Guv’s as am yet to grasp the concept that the perfect house is not going to show up on my doorstep, but that I have to show up on it’s doorstep. Outrageous. This week’s activities have included cinema (Last King of Schötland: awesome, but hook hanging is invading my happy thoughts), swimming in the biggest pool in the world, not sleeping enough, eating more than enough, Frisbee (as if I wouldn’t), wine, mozzie related scratching, kickboxing (sooooo much fun), crazy dancing and Google translating everything so international relations/insults may flourish and continue (enschüldigüng weil ich so spät bin aber mein Hamster ist gestorben). And it’s still not even time for my lunchbreak. Madness. Boring pictures later. Just had lunch which was lovely until I got invaded by about 4000 tramps and when I tried to seek refuge in the office canteen it turned out not to exist. Das stenke.